Ask Dean, The Go To Gay Guy — Which Stall to Use?

by Dean Hervochon on August 11, 2011

Do You Throw Dirty Toilet Paper on the Floor at Home?

Someone asked me a funny question the other night:  “Hey GoToGayGuy, which bathroom stall should I use?”

Now, why ask me that question? It’s not like I’m a Republican congressman…  It’s funny, but I did know the answer!

If it’s the cleanest stall you want to use, according to a 20/20 report — it’s the 1st one, the one nearest the door. Most people seek privacy when they go to the bathroom, so they will head to the farthest one away from the door. I guess it makes sense since so many people are both pee and pooh shy (blame that on your parents).

You Won't Get A Ticket If You Use It, But You Might Get A Dirty Look

What is usually the case though, is that the “Handicapped/ Special Needs” stall is usually the furthest from the door, yet many people won’t use it for fear that someone in a wheelchair will come into the bathroom while they are using it. Because of all those considerate people, I’ve found that the Handicapped / Special Needs stall is the cleanest. Yes, I use that stall if there are not others available!

Come on, it’s not like I’m “parking” in there, I’m just in for quick drop-off and away I go. Plus, I’ve never seen a sign on the door that says I’ll be “ticketed and towed” if I use that stall. If I do see a handicapped person headed to the bathroom, by all means, I won’t go into the handicapped stall. That just makes sense. I’d really appreciate it if those of you who don’t agree with me that I can use that stall, that you not use that stall, ever!

Purse Alert: Ladies, if you have a purse with you, don’t ever put it on the floor. The floor is full of ugly stuff (fecal matter, viruses, microbes) that can make you and your family sick. Your purse could be dirtiest thing you own if you’re in the habit of putting it on the bathroom floor.  It’s not recommended that you hang it on the hook on the door either, that makes it easy pickings for thieves.  I guess you’ll have to keep it on your lap or sling it over your shoulder or balance it on your head,  life just got a little harder.  I’m so glad that I don’t carry a “murse.”

 

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Pia August 12, 2011 at 10:24 am

Hi Dean,

I think all public women’s stalls should have that mandatory shelf like they do in Vegas casinos – your own personal ledge above and behind you just for your purse and shopping bags. No bag theft and no germs from a grimy floor either! Problem solved.

Reply

Dean Hervochon August 13, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I’m with you. Or a hook on the back wall of the stall. Thanks for the comment.

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tom terhaar August 13, 2011 at 12:04 pm

I like your thinking on this one….glad I dont have a Murse also..keep up the good work..I am more afraid of the Blowers to dry your hands ,heard they are full of stuff [virsus’s…etc] you dont want blowing around the room while using it ….I will not use them ,,,,my jeans are cleaner,if they dont have paper towells the word is they never clean those filters in the blowers…
Tom Terhaar

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Dean Hervochon August 13, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I use the bottom of my pant leg all the time. I don’t like touching anything when I’m on the way out of the bathroom. If I can’t get the door open with a paper towel, I’ll use my shirt tail to do it.
WHY don’t all bathrooms have paper towels?
I did see a cool thing in a restaurant recently though, it had a “toe hook” — basically a piece of metal on the bottom of the door where you could put the toe of your shoe in it and then pull the door open with your foot. Hard on your shoe but good on your immune system!
And one last thought! If a restaurant or business doesn’t have a trashcan near the door to throw the dirty paper towel into, I just throw it on the floor right by the door. Sounds piggy, doesn’t it? I figure if everyone will do that, the establishment will get wise and put a trashcan by the door! No one wants to litter but I don’t want to carry around that paper towel that I used to open the door, a door that has been infected by someone who just wiped their ass and didn’t wash their hands — and there’s LOTS of those selfish people around! Enjoy your meal!

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Heidi August 18, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Thank you Dean,
This has been most helpful!
I’m with you guys about the hand dryers. How hard is it to stock a bathroom with paper towel!? If there are no towels, I use my socks!
Heidi

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Dean Hervochon August 19, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Heidi,
Doesn’t it take a long time to take your shoes off, then put them back on after you’ve used your socks? Just sayin….

Reply

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