Your GaView for Friday, Jan. 28

by Dean Hervochon on February 2, 2011

The Go To Gay Guy’s “GaView” is brought to you sporadically by yours truly, whenever The View is particularly good, bad, or strange. Or… when I’ve got to get something off my chest…

It’s “Friday” on The View.  It’s really not! It’s actually Thursday because they record the Friday show right after the Thursday show.  Barbara is always on the Thursday show but rarely on the Friday show. What gives, Babs? Why can’t you do all five shows, especially when the show is shot in four days and you’re already in the studio? On second thought… watching the four of them without Barbara around is kinda like watching girls at a slumber party.  It’s fun. Not that Barbara is not fun too, but it’s entertaining to see what they can get away with if she’s not there. I’ll bet that Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth had their on-air fight on a Friday.  Oh, the good old days…

“Friday’s” Show was Busy!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck yelling, index finger raised

Mommy Ragest

One thing for sure, when Barbara is around, they don’t work half as hard as when she’s away.   When she’s gone, it’s like an sweat shop on that show!  She must leave them a “to do” list.

It seems that Elisabeth’s apple didn’t fall from the tree (great outfit Liz!). Her daughter Grace, rages… just like mommy does! Who knew? While preparing to take her kids to “Disney Princesses on Ice” (Spoiler Alert: Grace, if you’re reading this — your Prince is not coming!) her daughter emulated Elisabeth by screaming and raging at her boys. I can’t believe E would tell us that! E had a smirk on her face when she said that she thinks it must have been some other mother who was raging… eh hem… and that’s where Grace got it.

Elisabeth better get that under control — raging parents invoke fear and shame into their kids. It really isn’t funny, especially if you’re a defenseless kid.

Robert Redford Needs a Job

Photo of handsome Robert Redford as Sundance Kid

We miss you, Sundance Kid!

…And a better plastic surgeon. Yes, I said it!

70’s hunk and my former wet-dream fantasy Bob Redford (his friends call him Bob, and I consider him my friend due to the close contact I’ve “had” with him) can’t get cast in any roles. He says he’d like to work but that he can’t do the thing he loves most (acting? or being my wet dream fantasy?).  Joy wants to know why they’re not casting him and Whoopi, in the kindest way she could, said “he doesn’t look the same” as he once did.  Oh really?  Yeah… like he went to the same plastic surgeon as Mickey Rourke?  Oh, this doesn’t sound nice – but it’s the truth! Good news for him though — they may recast the role of The Joker in the next Batman film. Come on — he was such a hot, masculine hunk for decades, but now he looks more like Liberace.   Maybe he needs to supplement that bad surgery with  a testosterone patch?   I dunno…just trying to help.

Hypocrisy Alert: Seems in 2002 Bob said “everyone is getting pinched, lifted and pulled in Hollywood” and that it was becoming a “sick obsession”. He said his sagging face gave him character. Hey Bob, your new face gives you character too — see  Batman, Mikey Rourke and Liberace references above.  Yes. LOTS of character(s). With the money and level of narcissism in Hollywood,  you’d think actors could find someone good to work on them?

Whoopi under the knife?  Nope, she’s afraid her face will “shift” and she won’t have that same mug that’s made her so much money.  “Who knows if the plastic surgeon is having a bad day?” she wondered. That was stupid. Surgeons don’t have bad days, the have bad careers!   It astounds me how ignorant someone in the entertainment business can be about something as important as plastic surgery (it IS important!) – especially when they’re shopping for a surgeon!  Have you ever wondered that?  HOW did they find these doctors?   (And what about those “white teeth” that are blue…they’re so…blue)  Whoopi, contact me — I have 3 incredible doctors to recommend to you if you need “a little something”.   None of these docs will have a hangover when they do your work – they’re professional drinkers.    But Whoopi, , in all honesty, I think you look great and you’re aging beautifully.

Lorraine Bracco!

photo of Lorraine Bracco

Lorraine Bracco. Hot. Sexy. Working it.

Lorraine Bracco made her entrance after “Hot Topics”. Talk about a hot, sexy woman. She should have been a hot topic! She’s voluptuous. She’s someone you immediately want to have dinner with and share a bottle wine (or two). All the girls on the show love her — you can tell they know her really well.  She was just on Top Chef – and she stole the show.  What food?                      She’s so sexy, funny and smart.

Bio info:  She was voted ugliest girl in the 6th grade, but became a Wilhelmina model! Way to go girl! She’s been married to Harvey Kietel and Edward James Olmos — seems to have a thing for guys with really bad skin.  Hello Lorraine! You’re not ugly anymore and you don’t have to date ugly guys!  She says she wants plastic surgery (don’t you love that she admits it?) but she’s too scared to do it.  She looks great now, but if she wants something fixed she should go for it.  She yelled at producer Bill to not ever show pictures  of her when she was younger next to a current picture —  like they did with Robert Redford. Good call Lorraine, but Babe, you are still beautiful, and even more so with your great personality.  (Are you wondering if I’m having wet dreams about her now, I’m so gushy? )

Lorraine’s on a new show, Rizzoli and Isles, which was just picked up for 15 episodes (that’s a lot in TV land) and she seemed pretty psyched about it.

Joy told Lorraine that Sherrie was getting married and Lorraine said: “Whyyy?” Whoopi laughed and said she asked Sherri the same question. I’m guessing Sherri is trying to have that perfect life — career, money, kiddos and now she needs her some honey. I hope marriage makes Sherri happy and I’m glad she’ll get to enjoy the 1003 protections and tax benefits she’ll get by being able to get married.   I’m sounding bitter!  Some day my Prince will come… and maybe I can marry him! Oh Grace, I get you girl!  I get you…

Mmmm, Mmmm, Good:  Jessie Pavelka

photo of shirtless Jessie Pavelka

Jessie Pavelka. Hot. Sexy. Also Working it. (Bad Picture of him)

The show then went from a nice cup of Maxwell House coffee to an Double Latte with Hot Caramel really quickly! “Physical Fitness Specialist” Jessie Pavelka came on. He should add “Delicious” to his name. “Jessie Delicious Pavelka.” He is so hot and nice and don’t hold it against him that this year’s Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, is his cousin (he didn’t talk about that — I certainly don’t blame him!). I first laid eyes on Jessie last year when he had a show where 5 fat girlfriends got together and lost a bunch of weight. He’s got his own calendar out — it really should be an almanac!

Sheri’s Getting To Her Fighting Weight?

Sherri needs to loose some weight to be a bridesmaid and ultimately a bride, so she wants something she can do at home. (Bad idea Sherri!). Jessie brought a number of home shape-up programs and they tried them all out. They did the Zumba which is a dance workout. He showed Sherri and and the show’s intern how to roll their hips and “step it up”. Sherri was really good at it, and it was kinda sexy. She caught on really fast and she’s got great rhythm. Then they started using Jessie’s Step 360 which looks like a small round pedestal, but it’s rubbery and when you stand on it you’re constantly having to balance yourself. I know that tightens your ab muscles. Then they did a step on/step off routine on the 360 and poor Sherri, who loves her very large boobs, had to support her chest by holding them up with her arms as she stepped on an off. Sherri was really funny about holding them up and said she gets an arm workout holding onto her boobs.  (And I’m sure a back workout and a shoulder workout and an ab workout and…)   Good job on that segment Sherri!

photo of step360

Step 360: step, balance, twist, fall. Repeat.

P90X System came next. Now, I know this works — I’ve had a few friends who had the gumption to stick with it and the got great results. The system constantly brings new moves into the workout and it keeps confusing your body so you really get your money’s worth out of it. The only catch is —  you gotta do it! All of them were breathing hard after doing the workouts — it didn’t look easy.

Finally, they started doing Body Gospel which is basically doing “Step” with Gospel singers in the background. They even brought out the Gospel singers, and that was s-t-u-p-i-d! What was a great segment  slid right into the toilet. What do Gospel singers know about working out? Most of them are fat or obese — I don’t get the connection, or why they brought them on at all. We didn’t even get to say goodbye to Jesse!

Celebrity Stylist Robert Verdi Dresses for Success

Robert Verdi, sunglasses pushed up on is bald head

Robert Verdi, saving his head from the glare of the lights.

OK — who booked this guy? Robert Verdi is a fellow gay guy (or should be if he’s not) and he looked ridiculous! It took a lot to get past the way he looked to hear that he’s involved with a great organization that helps women get back into the workforce. Sunglasses on your head? And you’re bald and it’s inside and it’s winter and you have sunglasses on your head?  A red turtleneck, a vest and tweed jacket – who dressed him? He must have been sweating his nuts off. I will say that the women were very compelling and they did look good. He at least does a good job with the women he dresses.

No Happy Ending

A View cameraman brought on his wife and their poor kid who has Rett Syndrome. It’s a neurological disease — she can’t speak or walk, but she does understand what’s going on around her. I couldn’t imagine being trapped inside her body — as her mother pointed out that what she is. This hits normal kids who are about a year old. There’s no specific cause for this an it affects 1 in 10,000 girls. What a cute couple dealing with a horrible disease. They still have a great sense of humor and they rely on their faith to get them through. (I’d drink too because humor and prayers can only take you so far!) Makes you really want to thank your lucky stars that you or your kids are healthy and that you can walk from your car into the supermarket.  Next time you go to the store, consider parking far away from the store’s door and walking. Walk because you can. And maybe walk for all the poor kids who can’t.

It was a great show but ended on a sad note — I wish they wouldn’t do that.

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